i am so so sick!
this cough is terrible
i'll die soon.

i feel as if i'm coughing my lungs out everytime
a few times, till i almost vomited.
YUCKS!

why like tat??
i feel like taking MC. but...
i feel weird if i dun go for lectures......
ARGHZ.
wat to do, my group is so hardworking.

are we really goin to the zoo and underwater world
as u've promised?
i hope so!
someone give me some blessings...
hahaha...

i am so weird.
i smiled and laughed too much.
i'm not like my normal self.
i'm weird.

took the train home.
and took the long long road home.
spent about 30 mins to walk that stretch.
i chose the longer route.
the wind was too good.
i love the breeze.

walking and listening to some songs.
was back in my memory lane for sometime.
that stretch of road...
the many memories, incidents that took place.
the ex-basketball court esp.
i can still remember, about 2 years back,
i was lying at the basketball court having a wonderfully relaxed time
playing with the dogs, chatting, and enjoying the breeze.

yesterday, i had a good time chatting with effendi
it's nice to sit down and talk.
talk about life, everything.
i love this.
then dear xp came over.
reason wasn't good, but i enjoyed talking to her.
the catch-ups was lovely.
and yes, friends forever, we'll be...

i have another wisdom tooth growing out
OUCH. YEAH. OUCH.
but before the OUCH part,
it's growth in the first place is making me sick

and it's 'sicker' then sick
compared to the previous wisdom tooth.
it jus brings me down.

i've been sniffing like a dog.
coughing like there's no tml.
well, i can't be bothered to see any doc.
the point here is,
i'm sick of life too.

i'm sick of my own life.
my way of handling things.
watever it is.
i'm washing my hands off.

slpy.
din have a gd nite last nite.
despite the many times u 'stood me up'
letting me wait for ur call after u said u'll call back...
last nite was the worse. it really was.

for the past few months...
i could jus fall aslp even though u said u'll call
but yesterday, no doubt i did slp.
but i wasn't completely slping
half-awake
waiting for my phone to ring.
was tossing and turning.
having stupid dreams.
till 6 am.
yeah. get that rite. 6 am
finally there's a message.
BUT...
it's from ah xiong. DUHZ.

wishing me good nite. well, tat's the time when i needed that the most.
after that, i tot i should go slp.
and yeah, i slpt. and woke up at 11+
still feelin slpy.
i think i'll go slp later.
watever it is, i know, next week, i'll call u again. = )

y everytime u go missing???
chat halfway and u go missing?!?!?!
i dun like tat!!!
i haven been talking to u!
maybe i should call u later.
or will u call me?
hAiz.

i'm now in shit crappy mood.
perhaps coz i studied one round for my mid term
tat's y i'm like tat.
but today, i am happy!
coz i finally see mama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but am so sorry to stood up for early dinner!
SORRY! SORRY!! VERY SORRY!!!
but still, i'm elated to see u
hehehe...

i feel slpy.
most prob due to the amt of junk food i ate.
but i dun wan to slp YET.
i wan to continue to WAIT.
i will WAIT!

haiz.
i've been losing my stuff!
i lost my zip disk last yr in sch.
few weeks back, i lost my notebook
the one with my doggy pic in it.
damn. tat's a very impt pic to me!
and jus recently, i lost my floppy.
FUCK. how can i be so fucking careful huh?

irritated la.
anywayz, i miss one person very much.
she's none other than my mama!
mama: i haven seen u for like ages!!!! how are u? i miss u alot alot. i miss us goin to 'penthouse'!
i miss us goin to TM and walking around, visits to mango, i miss us goin to bookshop! i miss us slacking around! i miss us...... ALOT.
ooh.. yes of coz i miss everyone else....

interview sucks big time
i knew it.
predicted. but wat to do. that's jus me.

anyway, am so tired.
really tired.
physically and mentally.
i'm so troubled...
now i dun even know my stand.
everything is jus blurred.

"In love, you'll be changing your mind about one very special person."
an extract from 8 days issue 744 horoscope.

how true it is.
so true. even when i dun really believe,
it's jus too much of a coincidence.
btw, being a loyal reader of 8 days, i can tell u this...
8 days horoscope is pretty accurate.
at least for my case.
sighz.
what am i suppose to do?
there's nothing much.
WAIT is the only answer i have.
meanwhile, let me get through this extremely busy week first.
i smell a slightly relaxed week ahead jus before mid sem.
the tot of mid sem is jus so much of a relief to me.
with jus one paper and one online quiz.
thank goodness.

WoW.
i din know that i could get attached
without my consent and knowledge!

the rumours @ work are jus getting too far fetched!
me and kelvin?
HALO???
i spell i-m-p-o-s-s-i-b-l-e!
HAHAHA.

What's next?
Ah xiong and me izzit?
for gdness sake...
wat the heck. i can't be bothered.
i have enough to brood over now.

insufficient slp.
too much work.
too much probs.
jus only effendi will know what i'm talking about...

i'm veri stressed.
i got selected to be the interviewee
for comm skills.
had to dress up, make up (EEEEE),
go through that session itself...
it's jus hell.
i hate that.
WHY ME?!?

sad.
it's always the case
things u wan, u wun get.
things u never expected of,
always come right to your doorstep.

(warning: the post below contains extracts from author's brain juice. pls do not continue if you do not understand as any futher qns ask will not be entertained.)

White prince charming and black horse.
i always prefer the white.
i never even considered of the black.
but somehow,
the prince charming's destination is all up to fate.
i tot i wouldn't have felt this way,
but i was wrong.
after 2 mnths plus, i jus fell right into it.
and out of no where, a black horse came along.
leaving me all stuck.
i'm stuck.
i haven been talking to white for sometime.
i jus do not wan to think about this anymore for the moment.
i have enough to stress for.
comm skills, HR, tourism. big headache.

Irritated!
the photobucket exceed bandwidth!
wat the hell.
the created of this skin also din create a link for us to d/l the pics of those twinkling stars.
how am i suppose to support the pic on my own bandwidth?
irritated!

esp when i've found such a lovely skin.
i mean, the beautiful girl.
the gothic girl.
i love her.
hahaha...

Am in sch now.
staying for what?
i dun really hav a gd idea
but anywayz, i'm alrite with it

when i reach home, there's tonnes of things waiting for me to do!
Haven heard from you for few days.
wondering how are u doing?
have you found a job yet?

have been chatting with ah xiong recently
that joker...
i have no comments.
always goin ard askin ppl to marry him
oh yeah, i'm one victim.
haha. yeah. "married" to him already.
but i'm fine with it.. jus play along with him only.

watever.
hope the new boy wayne does not want to work anymore
so that i can ask my friend to work.
haha.. that's evil i know
but he's blacklisted by aunty already!
for not turning up for work.

i'm tired. goin home soon.
still having tonnes of stuff on my mind.
but jus can't or duno how or who to relate to.

i guess...
i'm really dying.

First and foremost,
Happy New Year to all.
May 2005 be a better year.

i guess this is the first time,
during new year,
whereby, i dun even feel like celebrating
jus like christmas.
it's JUS ANOTHER DAY to me.

went for a movie in the evening
with effendi and asri.
boy, i miss these two bros.
nice catching up with them after the movie.

so, i ushered in the new year
on my way home
in bus 851.

somehow, i'm satisfied.
am happy.

when u do not expect anything,
things jus happen.
was a pleasant surprise to receive the call
thank you for remembering me.
well, as i've promised before,
i'll always be the friend,
who will be sitting quietly at one corner of your life.

will always be there,
whenever you need me.
this applies to ALL my friends.
G5 dearies, Sem 2 mates, Sec sch mates,
the BM group... mama... bros...
ALL MY FRIENDS.
love you all.

i'm tired.
from the early mornings.

long days
long hours.
too many things.
too little rest.
too little time.

been thinking way too much.
i tot i could jus get over and done wif it
but i failed.
i'm still thinking.
every single min, sec.
even rite b4 i slp.
and the very min i open my eyes.

this is shity.
i'm shit.
i'm dead.
it's brutal.
it's madness
it's jus not me.

I'm so slpy.
look at the time now...
it's only 11.30 am
and i'm in school already.

i shouldn't be having lessons now
but was ask to come for project.
however, things dun seems to be goin as said
or perhaps there was a mizcommunication
i hope for the latter.

i'm so sad. everyone got promoted
i mean the A staff
edmund, kelvin, jess and angie...
so now, i'm the only...
one and only A staff there.
when on earth will i get promotion???

gotta work later
have been working for 3 days straight
christmas, yesterday and today.
super tired.
and yet no promotion. but got bonus.
in fact, i rather get promotion.
watever.

tonight, reach home, must complete my peer teaching notes
on employment act and maternity leave
as well as trade union act.
pls... if u ever see me online doing nothing at nite,
plz... help me. bug me to go do my work.
i'm so tired recently that i can't seem to stay up too late
i feel giddy, headache, heavy eyelids... etc.

i'm dying.

before i start, let me jus say something
no doubt i dun celebrate it...
Merry Christmas

i was on this funny topic with desmond few days back
why are people so enthu about x'mas?
i mean,
it's a religious celebration.
and we've got everyone celebrating?
you dun see ppl getting excited over deepavali
and suggesting a countdown party for it
do u?
haha...
tat's jus the way the world goes round.

anywayz, i went to sch for a stupid tutorial
and went to visit my grandma after tat.
met my bro there and we went for brunch
at mcdonalds over at united square.
something funny happened.

the way my brother converse somthing.
it was hilarious.
over the neopet toy and the food.
it wun be funny if i type it out.
so maybe i'll got around telling it if u guys wana hear.

got home and... felt slpy.
somehow, din catch any wink yet.
still need to work on peer teaching notes.
and there's work tml... =

bothered.
i'm very bothered.

i'm walking ard at home aimlessly.
i know i have a thousand and one things waiting for me to do
and yet,
i duno where and how to start.
i have a thousand and one things on my mind now
and yet,
i duno what they are.

all i know is that...
i'm bothered.
very bothered.

i feel like a walking dead now.
my brain isn't functioning well
it jus doesn't feel rite.
feels heavy. very heavy.
it's not working.
i think it's going to stop functioning soon.
i'm a goner then.
dead.

i feel weird.
very weird.
very out of place.
and yet,
i'm at home.
what the hell is wrong with me?
somebody tell me please?

Wah Piangz.

in sch again
stupid lab.
saw nisey, na and zhen.
so nice to see the three of them together.

anywayz, i'm veri bored.
there's nothing much to do now.
feelin quite hungry.

coming to think of it,
i've got attachment again tml
and ive got work on thurs, sat and sun!

first time working on sat.
say goodbye to my christmas.
there's only christmas eve to celebrate.

i'm blabbering nonsense now.
anywayz, how's my new blog skin?
i like the gothic look.
actually i like gothic stuff.
juz that it might end up scaring away ppl.
you guys should check out the visual band
Malice Mizer.
too bad it's disbanded. but they are really cool.

tat's all. i'm talking trash now....

I feel like saying something.

but then again,
i duno wat to say.

*slap*

things often don't go the way u wan them to be

rite?

Sian!

in sch now.
super bored.

anywayz, wed was Ade's birthday.
went Music Underground
danced for few hrs i guess.
nothing much i can do there
the experience was much more diff this time round.
the ex-MU was more happening

then... yesterday, went sch for one bloody lecture
then after that went to meet mama for lunch before work
so, nothing much actually.

as for today... so as it is.
haven been slpin much.
always late nites and early mornings.
damn tired.
gd thing there's no work today.
so go home can slack and slp early.
tml can wake up late too!

hahaha.
but tml might be goin to woodlands.
no no. not meet desmond.
go library. the library there is freaking damn bloody BIG
hahahaha.
we'll see how...
damn sian now.
msn mama.. but as usual, she never reply me.

I'm so tired.

Yesterday after i visited my grandma
i went to desmond's place for the first time.
i'm in love with his room.
haha
jus like all his friends.

anywayz, we did some stuff
like look at pics of his frenz,
videos, and he sang KTV
showed me some interesting lightings
showed me his J rock visual bands stuff
which i think is SUPERLY COOL
and watched DVD,
hannibal.

then played X BOX for a while.
challenged Street Fighter and Dead or Alive 3
after which he played this camera game
which is sumthing like shutter the movie.
pretty interesting.

after that, felt damn hungry
and he went to cook some instant noodles
Yummy. when u're hungry, even instant noodles taste good.
then we watched some stupid chinese show on tv
till both dozed off.
woke up at slightly past 3 then went home
after all he's tired from his reservist.

slpt at 4 and bloody woke up at 7.
took a cab to sch and reach at 9
and got bloody pissed off.
my group was supposed to me at 1015
and i wasn't informed.
wat the hell
i was so angry.
till i see Ain
felt lot better after a while.

had a long day today.
damn tired.
tml is Ade's birthday.
and first day of attachment.
another long day.
hope i can rest well today.