first and foremost,
thanks to everyone who care...
those who came down...

finally, it's over.
i mean, the 5 days long funeral.
back home from CCK cemetery.
the burial ritual.
it's indeed a very sad thing to come to accept the fact that
the one who took care of you,
watched you grew up,
taught you those things you ought to know,
jus left you. without a word.
i really do miss and love my grandma alot.
but things are not really over yet.
the 7th day ritual, 49th day ritual and 100th day ritual.
i'm dead beat.
four hours of slp for 5 days.
jus hope that i can energize myself by tml.
coz i got to work on thurs. and the 7th thingy as well.

jus as soon after i posted my previous post,
the phone rang.
non stop
i felt uncomfortable.
and there it is.
I LOST MY BELOVED GRANDMA.
I was still missing her on my way home.
Now, i LOST HER TOTALLY.
NEVER EVER will i see her again.
NEVER EVER will she hear me call her anymore.

You Have Good Karma

In general, you like to do the right thing when it comes to others. Your caring personality really shines through. Sure, you have your moments of weakness - and occasionally act out. But, all in all, you're karma is good... even with those few dark spots.

How's Your Karma?

Well, true or false, i dun know
jus for fun.
anyway, i think...
i'm goin to set myself free
yes.
be myself once more.
let go... and be free...

You Are Somewhat Honest

You do tend to tell the truth a lot But you also stretch the truth on occasion You figure a little lie isn't a big deal As long as it doesn't hurt anyone too much!

How Honest Are You?

had one of the worst paper today
was writing rubbish throughout the whole damn paper
let's jus hope that i dun have to go back
to take supp paper.

after tat went to meet chris and her mr L for KBOX
wah... first time i sang Sooooo much.
i mean... really alot!! first time i open my voice in public!
hahaahha
basically got hooked onto singing!!!!!!!!
i wana go singing again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahaha
anywayz, it did help me forget lots of things already.
so relaxed now.
tired also....
*yawnz*

Your Seduction Style: The Natural

You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen. Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people. You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find! People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

i have a thousand and one things to say today.
i am so moody now.
i received 2 missed calls this morning.
damn.
why do i always never hear my phone ring?
why do i always not feel the vibration?
why? why? why?
i yearn to know who called me.
one of the numbers actually looked so freaking familiar
seems like your home phone to me.
why did i not leave the room to call back before sitting down???
why?
things often goes this way.
i tried callin back after my paper.
no one picked up.
i used to tell myself not to bother about missed calls
yes, often i don't. but this time round, i really can't help.
was out wif mama, ade, shan, wen and jean having lunch.
walked ard. but then the mind jus seems to stray off.
went in to K pool. saw the billard table.
OMG. it happened again. CNY eve is back.
i'm really lost.
right now, i have no mood for anyting.
not even my paper for tml.
i guess, i have to take a long break first. hopefully, make myself study at nite.
and brace the courage to find out who called me.

oh... it's your birthday today.
Happy birthday.

Its your birthday in about 20 mins time.
jus wana wish you happy birthday.
may your dreams come true.
enjoy yourself.
i'm sure you will...

You Are Bold And Brave

But daring? Not usually? You tend to like to make calculated risks. So while you may not be base jumping any time soon... You are up for whatever's new and (a little) exciting!

How Daring Are You?

You Are A Loyal Sidekick

While you aren't the most visable one in your group... You're always up for a good time or conversation And you stick with your friends no matter what You may feel underappreciated - but it only seems that way!

What Kind of Friend Are You?

i dreamt of you last nite again.
you hoping for reunion.

IT WAS JUST A DREAM

*Shruggs*

You Are 50% Normal (Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

went to work today.
changed shift wif chui yee for this wk.
your sis dropped by for a box of bacon and cheese
first thing she asked me was:
"are you still with my bro?"
me: "no." (trying to react cooly to it)
sis: "he broke up with you?"
me: "no... it was like... no contact and tat kind of stuff..." (trails off)
sis: "..." (aggitated expression)

after she left, i sorta lost my concentration in work for a while.
what does this means?
i guess, nobody else knows better than i do...
i'm not feeling too good about it.
esp when u turn up for cleaning today.
nagging about your coming bday.
i know... in less than a wk's time.
what can i say?
i jus wanna wish u happy birthday. that's all.

yawnz...
jus woke up... haha...
it's like 7pm now...
i woke up at 6 plus though.
had a long long day ytd.

went to work.
after work went down to Singapore Conference Hall
to watch the band's final round of rehersal for SYF
at the concert hall.
went back to sch with them and ended up staying overnite there.
did some silly stuff...
'slpt' along the corridor...
haha... it's cool... you watch the sky changes
and the wind's definitely chilly enough!
went home at 7?

reached home at around 8+
bathe, wash clothes, surf the net for a while...
surprisingly, i WASN'T slpy at all?!?!
till about 9.
made myself slp... and here i am posting this.
if i'm not wrong, mama, you did ask if i wana go back sch wif ya today rite?
erm... there's no call from you...
so i jus slpt tru the day lor....
hehehee......

Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

was watchin the 9pm show on channel 8.
something certainly sounds freaking familiar!
the sampan, boat, cruise, passenger thingy.
well... too bad, i din get copyright!
haha...
i originated it ok...
watever.
anyway, i have this discomfort in my right palm.
oh dear. i have no idea why is it so....
hope it doesn't affect my work tml.
*sighz*

i have had an extremely long day today.
slpt at 4 ytd.
was mugging MER. woke up at ard 11?
din have a gd slp from 8am onwards
coz was worrying about my darling sister, evelyn.
the band havin music exchange wif 15 other schs today.
it's like WOW. 15 schs! that's definitely a lot.
anyway, went for it. did nothin much though.
caught up wif my junior and the kids.... Opps.
haha. witnessed sumthing today.

i always tot guys after NS wld be matured enough to think for themselves and the consequences for the actions they take.
as expected, u were extremely K-PO. but you did went overboard
you shouldn't have used vulgarities on that boy.
c'mon. he's still a sec sch kid. practically, a BOY.
you, 21 this year, still wana take on a BOY???
Oh..... grow up pls... u make me feel so embarassed of hssband alumni.
watever it is, u did cause the trouble. hopefully it'll never ever happen again.

caught hitch wif kelvin.
i wld say, it's a funny show.
however, it does makes me wonder...
opportunities come by or were they created?
hahaha... go ahead catch it guys, it's quite nice.
am pretty tired now. but i still have to continue on where i had left off last nite
else, i wldn't be able to finish mugging!
oh, my parents jus left for taiwan today.
blame the exams! i can't go. shit.
i do miss my mum...

to something else now...
sometimes, i really do dread the thought of taking 147.
though it's kinda my fav bus, as i've been takin it for the past... 6 yrs?
it has been by trusted transport.
i take this bus to most places i go.
to sch back in those secondary days,
to town when i go city hall,
to clementi when i meet up wif the guys for pool,
and of course, to work.
why do i dread taking the bus?
coz, it bypasses that road.
BENDEMEER, BOON KENG MRT.
whenever i see that road, the sch, the mrt, the muslim food stalls,
the factory at the other side,
images of you and that new year eve flashes back
almost immediately.
how am i suppose to forget?
i can't not take that bus. what can i do?
everytime, i see those landmarks, i get zapped back into the past.
help..... help......

i... got something to say.
i know i got.
but i dun seem to remember.
how sad is that.
nevermind.

lets jus leave it.
... ... ... ... ...

Errr...
am so slpy.
duno why.
most prob due to the food i ate
and the fan that is constantly blowing at my eyes.

need to get down to study for MER.
vbus got so many shit to look at.
but me ain't got a proper table thanks to mum.
duno what's with the tray.
been left on the table for so long and she jus leave it as it is.
i need a table to write my notes as i copy from vbus!
this is irritating.
making me lose the motivation to study.
Grrr... i hate this.

RETURN ME MY TABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahaha...

i guess, i've reach the step.
where i've chosen to let go.
at the crossroad.
it's either, or.
and i've chosen.
it does hurt a little now and then.
but, things will never be the same.
so no point holding on.
let's jus see what can time do for us.
or rather, ME.
it still hurts when i bypass bendemeer JTC,
listen to the song you sent, think of my fav song,
work, and many things else which has a connection with you.
i know have to and will be strong.
i know i can do it.
i'm tired of all these avoidance.
sorry to say, i find them childish.
i expect us to behave like adults, to be able to talk
too bad, you chose to avoid, a lose-lose situation.
nevermind, friends or not, it's up to you.
i'll still be the friend of your's who will always lend u a helping hand
in every aspect, when u need one.

i'm so tired btw.
woke up at 5+ today
went for the conference job.
damn tiring.
SIP is irritating. i dun know if i should go look for my own co.
the tot of going through that bloody interview like comm skills
is purely disturbing to me... argh....

nowadays, i enjoy the comfort to the maximum, surfing net at home
on my bed.
finally my wireless lan is done. but i hav to fix up my CPU for my desktop.
am glad i no longer have to stay in the living room late at nite.
had a great time chatting wif desmond last nite.
sure it was entertaining.
his 'live' concert at woodlands. haha.
we were having audio conference via msn.
quite fun though.

i know that holding on is a silly thing to do.
the mind says let go.
but the heart says hold on.
maybe there could jus be another chance.
but, that would also mean another chance for me
to let me get hurt by u again.
can't i jus forget? no. at least not at the moment.
was literally happy that u called the other day to ask me help you
collect your pay. tot you finally sorted things out.
guess, i was wrong.
you're still avoiding. always. as usual.
was shocked when u msn me.
simply jus to say thanks. and u logged off immediately.
not leaving time for me to say a welcome.
ain't that avoidance?
i do not know what more can i say.
lets jus leave time to do the work...
i am in no control.

Am so surprised you called.
simple call from u to ask me help u keep your pay first.
y me? i do not know.
but i do not mind.
can be a form of compliment too.
at least, i know,
you're not avoiding.

urghz.. i'm freaking haunted!

haunted by those memories you left behind.
how it all started.
with your fake marriage proposal thingy.
up till the promise to visit the zoo and 'under-sea' world.
tat's wat u call the underwater world.
till the day it first ended.
the ktv nite, where things were goin back on.
the nite where u pester me to play online pool with you
to how it started the second time.
the way you sound wif the 'juz-woke-up' voice tru the phone
the river angbao trip during CNY eve.
those fireworks. those stuff u told me about.
the long walk from marina to beach road. the stop over at gateway.
the way you played billard. what you call bendemeer road in chinese.
the prata and mutabak we ate. the lift to your house.
the playground near your place, your friends.
the bottle of solution you bought. the way your sisters reacted when they saw me
early CNY morning.
right up till the movie, million dollar baby.
and till this very day.
even monday, when we were busy shifting those stuff out of shop.
those irritating noise u made. 'tuk-nai'

they are still haunting me... for the past few days!
how and when will i get out?
i guess, only time will tell... or when someone else steps in
and pull me out...