i think i've been missing you or rather thinkin bout u too much.
WAY TOO MUCH.
till i even dreamt about u last nite.
about us.
BRrrrrr......... US? HUH-HUH?
it was a pretty nice dream though.
but then, in that dream, i was never happy
until we're together.
does that mean that, i will only be happy
with you?

they say, dreams are often the reverse.
i hope so. i so wana get on with my life.
stop dreaming about u.
but then again, sometimes, my dreams do freaking come true.
what now then???
somebody tell me how! pull me out of this pit i'm in!

what are friends for?
i'm happy that i have my poly mates.
i have xp and gang...
and some others.

Who are your real friends?
i do not know.
thanks mama, for being there at times.
i'm freaking irritated at ppl nowadays.

i really do not know if they are my real friends or not
even after knowing each other for so many years.
perhaps... ppl change.
i've come to realise that you've change to become more selfish.
selfish, the right word? YES.
you only care about your own stuff.
was i being used all these while?
i tot so too.

i dun wan to think about it anymore.
you jus disappoint me ALOT.

Alone in the project room now.
slpy.
bored.

the following post will contain complicating extracts from my precious tots and views.
pls be warned. (^-^v)

i still miss you.

i know things will never be the same again.
history will never repeat itself once more.
coz i dun like to wait.
i hate to wait.

the person who is really worth your tears, will never make u cry...
it applies to waiting as well.
practically everything.
i'm fine. perfectly fine.
i'm ok with it. gotten over the sadness period.
jus that, i do miss you.
esp when i saw those fireworks pictures in my cam last nite.
shld i delete? was badly taken though.
but it's fond memories of CNY eve.
haiz. forget it. jus leave it there.
things are so different now. i jus wish, we could just be friends like b4.
perhaps, it shouldn't have even started in the first place.

i've been spending a bomb
on cab fares recently.
haven been slping enough.
really am very tired.

great thing is that.......
soon, those projects will be over soon!
yeay!
but the comm skills summative test is stressing me out!
the big bomb from Ms Lynette Tay kills!
Tml, is presentation day.
for tourism.
Stressful too! i speed talk alot esp during presentations.
let's hope everything will be over soon...

sometimes, i still think of you.
but am trying hard enough to forget.
will keep those memories wif me.
thanks for those precious moments...

Am so tired.
work up early today.
went to sch.

after that went town wif mama, ade, shan and jean.
window shop alot.
veri tired.
was in a daze.
saw the chingay parade.
reminds me of CNY eve countdown wif you.
all i can do is *sgHz*
memories... will always be memories.
i know,
the promised zoo trip, even if it's a promise,
i dun need u to fulfill it.
coz i know it'll be hard on both of us.
let's jus forget it.
i do not hate u.
i have the rights to. but i NEVER ever wanted to.

*t0 foRgve, is tO gvE up My RiGhtS t0 hAtE yOu foR hUrtNg Me...*

i feel so slpy.
duno y.
i slpt like a dead log in the bus on my way to work.

i spent a little too much today.
was suppose to go browse for blazor.
but ended up spending 95% of my cash at
SIM LIM SQUARE.
spent 43 bucks there.
Bought this veri cool looking optical mouse.
50pcs CD-R
holder... etc.
now i can finally burn some stuff...
for goodness sake!

so tired now.. better go slp soon

Shiok!
know wat? i'm now typing this entry using my laptop.
the thing is that
my wireless connection is not done up yet...
i'm using some other ppl's!
wahaha
my laptop manage to detect a few.
so... jus use! hahaha....
okie... lame i know.
but it feels cool man.

Xing Hui Yi Leng.
i'm so sad.
think i'm goin to be numb soon.
i know i'm definately upset.
i dun even wan to took at you.
how bad can that be?

Duan Le Si Nian.
that's all i want.
jus hope that we'll go to the zoo on this coming sat
as promised.
and, have a enjoyable day.
nothing else. jus a happy memorable day.
i dun ask for anything else anymore.

tml is v day.
i can still remember, last yr's V. day.
the surprise with light heart-shaped candles.
lovely. but, nvm, it's the past.
time really flies.
i dun wan to think about tml.
all i wan to, is to concentrated on my work.
let the work carry my woes away...

you are always on my mind...
so much so that,
it felt as though it's air...

i'm really extremely bothered.
i do not know what's goin to happen
i do not wan to know.
even if i know, i know i wun know how to face it
how to handle it.
if it happens, it's goin to be the 2nd time
2nd time you're breaking me in less then a month.
you make me and break me...
i'm speechless.
i do not wan to rush things. always.
i take it slow. but it seems like it's getting out of hand.
what can i do?
for twice i read the word serious.
and for twice, my heart hurts.
somebody tell me what should i do?

all i have with me are the memories.
every little thing u said.
that little bottle of solution u bought.
i can't help but feel silly again.
devastated? yeah i am.

i'm so tired.
so slpy.
am at sch.
hmm... this entry sounds freaking familiar
doesn't it?
that's wat i always say whenever i'm in sch.

i still feel insecure.
what can i do?
it's not stablized.
there's nothing much i can do
i can only hope for more weekends.
and next sat to fly by ASAP.
i can't wait to go to the zoo...
anywayz, i'm really happy
when u told me u miss me too last nite...
(='_'=)

insecurity...
is the only word i can say.
i miss you. do you ?

i have one of the most memorable chinese new year eve so far.
yes.... i am in 7th heaven already.
anywayz, happy new year.

chinese new year eve, after sch, went last min shop for clothes.
surprisingly, you called me.
i tot i was goin to be waiting for nothing.
we met up at nite, to river ang bao.
watched fireworks together...
nice nice.... nice fireworks and nice feeling too.

met up wif ur fren and watch u play billard.
after that went to ur area for supper.
talk till 6+ am.
slpt over. went home and went visiting the next day.
which was yesterday.
met up at nite again.

watever, i'm goin to god-ma's hse soon.
after that will be going for company dinner.
too bad u can't go. = (
miss ya...

is whatever that happened last nite true?
i hope so.
i'll be up in the 7th heaven again.
haha...
i waited but too tired. so i went off first.
i duno whether should i persist?
let's see if we go river ang bao tonight
and it'll decide...

i'm so slpy.
haven bought any new year stuff
later goin to do last min shopping.
buying clothes and shit.
haha.. what to do?
i'm really veri veri busy!
been working and schling. takes up all my time away.
let's see, today is chinese new year eve.
tml is new year.
tml, i wana stay home and slp.
i haven been slping enough... real tired.
now i look like a panda liao........

i'm extremely tired.
think am gonna suffer from a breakdown soon.
have been extremely busy!!!
looking back.
fri, was suppose to spend my time doiny my comm skills shit.
but then got to go collect my laptop.
spent the whole evening at TM.

Sat, early morning went sch to do project..
then went to funan to collect the stupid freebie.
wasted hours jus trying to locate that shop.
thanks to best denki AGAIN

after that went to work. all the way till 10.45.
seiyu extended such stupid hours.
after work went ktv wif anderson, him, hl and one other guy.
till 4 am. went for super early breakfast?
couldn't even finish mine.
shared cab home wif him and the guy.
slpt at 6 am

went to work today again till 10.45
am really damn tired.
need to go rush my comm skills shit.
tml got lecture at nine.
i'm sooooo dead.

and, i'm not goin to the zoo on 12 anymore... = (
coz got work!?!
need to wait for another week. haiz.
btw, i have no idea why u said those to me last nite.
but i like the feeling of being doted on... = )

Have i grown stronger?
i have no idea.
i still feel sad.
the pain is still there.
when will it ever go away??

I was being silly.
or rather, i have always been.
Naive, i call myself.
Silly.
Whatever.
I always trust too easily.

Am so glad that i know i will always have a friend with me.
XP. my bestest of all friend i suppose.
after soo many years.
no doubt i din really say my main problem, i still feel fine.
Thanks for your companion.
We'll be friends for live... i can't promise, but this is my wish.
i'll always be there for u like u do for me.

it's been a long time,
eversince i last cried till my eyes turn red.
yeah, i cried alot today.
whatever it is, i do not wish to mention anymore.
let bygones be bygones.
i do treasure those moments. esp that particular talk.
even though it hurts the most.
dun worry, i'll be fine.
and i'm fine.
i know i can get through this. afterall, it's jus another fall.

*perhaps, i've really grown stronger*

i dun think of goin to the zoo and underwater world
ANYMORE.

u dun have to keep to your promise
however, i dun mind going.
but then again, u really dun have to.
since things take a turn this way.

i'm not going to think about it.