Bad days.
Bad night last night.
Dun wish to talk about it.
I know i hurt him.
He hurt me too.
Hurt again. It just sucks.
Just when I tot I can entrust everything to him.
Are all these just a cycle?
I duno wat's going on.
seriously i'm really confused and scared.
Even though it seems ok already.

He's stress.
We're strained. He chooses to run away.
I duno wat to do.
He told me lies. It hurt me.
He knows I can't take lies. I'm confused. Really.

Emo hurt again.
Physically hurt myself today.
My jaw got dislocated.
Went to the hospital.
They tried to put it back w/o medication
but din work.
Put me to sleep... and got it back....

Some ugly pictures (Just 3) of my pain today:



When I just woke up after they put me to slp.



I removed the fugly bandage myself...



This hurts the most after my jaw was put back in place... apart from me heart. = (

Mr Ang, would you be there ?

My eyes are closing...
So tired! but am waiting for my hair to be dry...
Jus gotten home from a catch-up with my Yr 1 days dearies...
Nise, Na and of coz... Mama...

Had good dinner? Filling.
and i guess we really took lots of photos!
but then, Na's got all of 'em.
so... sorry! no photos for showcase now...
We had fun through dinner...
snap shots taking...
walking and more posing and snap shots!
and we're planning to meet up again on 10 July!

See Nise! i remember! dun have key in phone. = )

Tml's wed. Long day at work.
it's the JCI audit...
Tiring!!!! Can't wait for weekend to come fast pls...
and then I'm working on sat still...

Going for tattoo on Sunday... with darl.
Duno when can i buy my DSLite...
I WANT TO BUY!!!!!!!!! argh...
and I still want N95... so pretty...

Hmm...
As usual, am at darl's place now.
Waiting for him to finish work and come home.
Quickly!
I wana go walk walk.
wanna buy a new bag for work. (again)
Like wat they always say...
a woman can never get enough of shoes and bags.
and of course, clothes!

anyway, had big fun yesterday.
went K Box wif buddy and darl.
Sang from 8 plus till nearly 12.
Sang till i almost lost my voice.
Had fun switching voices...
from FIR's duet to Shin Yue Tuan's one night in Beijing
to Buddy's fav Wu Yan De Jie Ju...

Darl videod, took pics of us going crazy.
we sang from sitting, to kneeling on the sofa
till standing and standing on the seat...
call us crazy.
but we were really happy.
thanks buddy!
Eh... it's v costly lor.
u shouldn't really have foot the bill.

anyway... tml's monday again.
Monday blues...
and next sat.. i'm working.
and it's gonna be a long long day for me.
coz it's keke's bday bbq celebration.
Am thinking of getting my 2nd tattoo next sunday...
Should i???

I'm not at work today.
Din really expect it.
Took Family Care Leave.
Dad's injured.
Met up with a minor accident yesterday.

Fuck that van driver.
I curse him all the way.

anyway, bought breakfast for dad.
brought him to see doc.
and was at home... doing this...

then i tot of getting one for buddy:

then, i got vain...

and i tot of doing one for my friends!
all in all, to sum up my 3 yrs of poly days...

I hope this entry doesn't hang anyone's pc!!!

Fuck that emo aside...

jus some updates over the wkend:

Friday was Shan's Bday celebration.
Went to meet him at tamp first.

and being sweet, he bought me 2 gifts.

a necklace and an eeyore plush toy (i've been hugging it wherever i see it in dept. stores!).
thanks darl.
and i've been huggin' it ever since.
too bad din take any pic of it.
and it's at his place. prob squashed by him tonite...

Random Pic:



this was taken when he was having a flu...

anyway, back to the main topic.
we went to waiting bar...
erm... not very my kind of place.
we left early. coz darl got to work on sat.

and i heard they went MOS next. how can!!?? (esp w/o me?!??!)
ha.

sat...
initial plan...
go ikea walk walk. then to pasir ris beach walk walk some more. and have dinner at fisherman's village.
BUT...
hey hey, my dudess called me.
the trio... Asri and Effendi...

we met up at east coast. of coz wif darl.
for dinner. heavy dinner. with seafood.
and alot of ayam... thanks dudes...
then it freaking rained.
bypass this stall selling keychains.
and darl bought another eeyore for me. (thank you darl.)
and effendi got for himself patrick(s) from spongebob.


Random Pic:



I love this pic of his... so cute... taken b4 he knew me...

Was still raining.
we took a cab to parkway.
had a short round of pool game.
with me not playing.
and left. (still freaking raining)

Sun.... (today)

Darl went work early morning.
me woke up at 9 plus.
came home to bring fluffy for grooming.
yes. she's botak once more.
and got dad out for brunch.
and went back to darl's house.
watch vcd and rot...
tat was pretty much... all that happened....

i had a pic posted of the small eeyore and the necklace here....



the pendant has the words "I Love You" on it... in case you're wondering...
Cute Eeyore... too bad the big one is not ard...

That's all.
Good nite.
Back to work again tml. Sighz.

Fucked up.
Fucking sian.

Bored.
Boring.

Where have my fun days gone to?

see my msn: confused.
few mins later: wtf is wrong wif me.
another few more mins later: F-king EMO.

tat's me for today. the whole of today.
and partial of yesterday.

nah.. nothing wrong between me and my dar.
jus me myself.
doing some soul searching.
duno.
ended up feeling confused.
felt some freakin prickin pain in the heart.
darl din make me sad.
i'm jus upset (wif) myself.
i tot i jus wasn't honest wif myself.
not being myself.
been having weird dreams for 2 nites.
insecurity arising duno since when.
the heart once again dun wanna listen to the brain.

but at least i'm much more sober this time round.
i hope so.
i seriously duno wat i wan.
can't think straight.
can't focus.
seems lost. but not quite.
where's me?
lost.
i hope darl can bring me back.
i love him. but i think, he loves me more.
i feel bad.

jus like how it was when i was wif kelvin (mr toyota)
not fat cat.
i hope it wun end the same way.
my emos destroyed it once.
i jus assured darl i'm fine.
but myself...? feeling insecure.
insane.
yes. i am.

darl has brought me through wonderful times ever since we got together.
jus wan to thank him... a zillion times is never enough still.
he's really been nice.
i'm happy i've got him.
i prob jus need him to help me find myself...

Feeling pretty down at work lately.
Restless.
hence, alot of careless mistakes.

new colleague coming in on Monday.
She's LSL.
Boss = > LML
Exec to be = > LYL
Myself = > LWL
Admin n Ancillary Team belongs to the L_L empire!!!!
hahahaha.... LAME i know.
but so much of a coincidence rite?!

anyway, i just received a letter from SIM.
Soooooooo Heng ah... I din go apply with SHRI.
Otherwise i sure waste money.
I din get myself into the July intake PT course.
but they reserved my a place for me for the Jan 08 PT course!
which means... I've got myself in!
the only thing now is to send the reply slip and wait for their acknowledgement.
So happy.
but i know i'm not very expressive...
cause...

I miss Darl...
Mr ANG!!!!!!!!!
Reservist for him tis week all the way till Friday.
So no bowling for him... and indirectly means...
i dun get to see him mid week.
only got to wait till Friday or even Sat?

Anyway, i wana shout out to all my friends:

I miss ya all!!!!

Take care and Have a nice... day?

Good morning!
You barely see me blogging/logging online at this hour...
yeap... 11 am. on a sunday?!
like i'm mad rite?
not really...
din club last nite...

Went bugis to find aunty loh, fat cat and yee yee ytd wif darl.
so happy to see them! miss them alot. esp aunty loh.
she has really been a very nice aunty... like mummy to me.
i mean not only to me... but to many others in the shop as well.
but i'm sorry i got to resign. not that i dun want/love to work there
but i can't. afterall, i stop working there for 4 mnths!
i guess it doesn't really make any difference rite?
with or without me. i know i'm going to damn miss cooking takoyaki.
but then... for the sake of my work, future i guess i got to stop that.
Happy to see fat cat too! hahaha. he'll always be my fat cat.
and yee yee... hahaha...with that damn low pitch "Ah Li..." (acting La Pi Xiao Xin)
bought them starbucks each! and i enjoyed my Ice Coco too!

Once again, I'm MIA from home.
Like wat Ms Yien said, I'm at Tampines Chalet.
hahaha... yeap. waiting for darl to come home. (working... sighz!)

Been feeling restless about work lately.
dun like to OT anymore. dun get the drive to work so hard.
Having monday blues like everyday! it's everyday blueeeee...
when it's 4+ pm, the 'want to go home!' feeling jus dawn upon me everyday.
Wat's going on?!? it wasn't like this before!
i duno why. but i guess it's a gd thing too.
working too much/late is not tat good for an assistant also.
but then the executive better work... dun make life difficult for me!
hahahaa...
got new colleague coming in
my boss, ms may so happy.
she definitely can lighten our workload but still...
let's hope she stays put not like khad... who left so fast = (

anyway, i thought through about it.
I guess, if my application to RMIT fails, i dun think i wanna apply wif SHRI first.
the fees are just way too expensive.
Do i really need to ? after all it's Curtin. Like not very good lehz...
forget it first eh? work hard.
save more money for my other plans first.
travel, car... shopping!
hahaha... i wannna shop... but i dun really know wat i wan to buy.

I know i wan to get my DS Lite soon.
can help me kill time when sometimes i'm really bored you know.
but then... the GST rebate is only coming in in July. one more month to go.
and tat reminds me of keke's bday.
ahahaha... Buddy! prezzie or cash? Cash better right?!?!
eh, miss u ah... hope to see u later! hahaha...

Long entry yeah? coz i'm bored mah.
no one talking to me over MSN. so boring!
ya... my friends like me. dun come online so early...
hahahaha.... better luck later!