Monday, September 26, 2005

It's been a week plus since my attachment.
Life's pretty much the same there.
reading the stupid manual for a week plus.
but we're moving to expo soon.
i'm feeling tensed.
coz it's gonna be a brand new and huge environmnet.
i'm worried if i can't do well.
sighz.

so tiring.
ever since dear moved in
i haven really caught a proper wink.
i dun blame him. i'm not pushin the blame to him or anything.
it's jus that my life's so much so different from the past.
it's no longer doing wat i want at whatever time i wan.
and i have tonnes more laundry to do.
an extra person to take care of.
of coz i wan him to be happy tat's why i'm doin all these.
but i somehow feel that i'm overdoin 'em at my own expense.
i dun know if it's really worth it.
i hope so.
no regrets. or rather, i dun allow myself to have any.
dear's gonna get a bike next mnth.
while i'm making him go take his class 2 next mnth.
i dun care. i wan him to have SAFETY FIRST in his mind.
sighz.
too tired to think what to blog already.
i've got a pile of clothes waiting for me to fold them.
managed to set up dear's desktop for him to use internet as well.
it means, we no longer have to share this laptop.
looking forward to someday to do wiring in my room.
the wires are all over the floor... in a big messssssss.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

I am so slpy.
i wan to slp.
but i dun have much time to slp.
sighz. it's gona be a hlf hr nap?
coz it's alrdy 10+ now.
dear's working + cleaning.
he'll finish soon i guess.
unless he waits for HL.
then he'll reach home near 12.

life's been extremely tiring!
i have not gotten more than 5 hrs of slp
every single day.
i'm surprise that i can still hang on till now.
i'm working everyday.
there's no off day.
i need to do some shopping.
sighz. not for myself.
but for us.

dear's been using 'us' and 'ours' so often.
that it seems like he's lovin' it here.
my mum showed him concern as well.
and whenever he talk about his future,
he talks about my mum and i.
so sweeeeeet of him.
glad that things are better these few days
ever since tat nite when we talked.

i need to get a few pair of boxers for dear.
and get one extra towel for each of us.
buy some shorts for myself (home wear)
get a tv in my room soon.
else this poor darling will have to watch tv
late at nite in the living room alone.
handphones. for us. one each.
and the list nv stops i guess.
and there's one major plan in mind.
shift some furnitures over to my current room!
to put dear's desktop and moi laptop.
and a place to put his clothesssssss.
oh ya, dear's bike.
i've got a deal for him.
maybe he can consider getting it from ah met.
kelvin's fren.
nicceee SP he's got.
but it all revolves ard the same old thing = $

Sunday, September 18, 2005

i back at the downside of my life i guess.
am really unhappy wif dear.
i feel really v v tired.
of many things.
my sip is already a shit
and i hav to take care of him.
i dun mean anything bad here.

i'm jus trying to say that...
why can't he jus be more understanding?
why is it that i'm always the one showing all the care and concern?
when will he treat me like a proper gf?
when will he start to comfort me when i'm down?
will he ever be more sensitive to my feelings?

i'm not asking for too much i swear.
i'm tired of giving.
giving in to him. giving him wat he wants.
always making him happy.
we never fight. before.
but today, i was really really upset with him.
things he said really does affect me a lot.
i din talk to him. all the way back on our way home after HL alighted.
he knows i'm angry with him.
i upset him as well.
i know. coz he had 'sensative nose n eyes' suddenly.
the first time i saw him like tat was during the night
when he had the big fight wif his dad.
today, or rather about half an hour ago,
he had the 'sensitive nose n eyes'
it really hurts me to see him like tat.
i feel bad. but i feel worse inside of me.
about how things are goin.
how unappreciative he has been.
i'm really v v v v sad.
i'm tired.
i feel like giving up again.
but i really do love him.
what can i do?

Thursday, September 15, 2005

i am v v v tired.
v v v stressed.
been attached to pico.
working in the operations department of meeting planners.
it's an events company.
MNC. sighz.
they are having a mega event in oct.
ITMA 2005 at expo. takes up 7. Mind u. 7 halls.
u know wat, we are goin to be expected to
report to expo every morning by 730 during the set up period
tru-out the event till the shut down. that means,
the whole of october.
and the day will only ends at 12mn.
and it's gonna be 7 days.
imagine this: 7 days, from 730 am to 12mn.
working. non-stop. my position: intern.
WTF. how bout my job at takopachi?
i can't giv it up.
i WILL NOT giv it up.
i'm really tired. and stressed.
the boss of operations department SUX.
i hate him. waiping and i are thinkin of speakin to our LO on mon.
wif regards to the damn workin hours.
like wat i said, EXPLOITING MANPOWER!
i rather they kill me.
serious.

i can't change company.
stupid sch.
i can't afford to fail SIP.
if i really do, i would rather stop sch.
than waste another year to go through this SIP shit again.
i duno.
lots of tots went tru my mind this whole noon.
quit sch. stop SIP.
it is killing me. SERIOUS.
wat can i do after i quit sch?
work. pursue a degree in SHRI.
or the last resort, get involve wif the government.
serve the nation. haha. signing on wif the navy.
it's been a consideration that has been at the back of my head
since i got my 'O's result till now.
sighz...
it might be considered as silly, or a moment of rashness.
but who can take it? imagine 7 days a week for one whole month!
the staff can take it bcoz they earn more than we do.
they hav all the benefits i believe.
who gives a shit about those interns?
i'm thinkin. i'm goin to speak to my mum abt this.
if she gives consent, i might jus proceed.

now, i still got to take care of alot of things at home.
coz dear's putting up at my place.
i hav to ya...take care of him.
really really v v v v v tired.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Gosh.
I witnessed an extremely terrifying incident last nite.
it's a long story.
let me jus illustrate.

for the past few days, i was feeling damn upset.
apart from the stress from the exams.
i was also facing the strain from my relationship with dear
due to those flying rumors at work and some other reasons.
although i did not mention my feelings to him, i guess he somehow felt it.
coz the whole of ytd, while we were working,
i din even bother to talk to him properly
din even wanted to look at him.
i was really upset.

at night, when i was on my way home in bus 147
after kelvin alighted, dear called.
i was surprised. coz i was actually preparing myself
for the thought of ending this relationship.
he asked me to wait for him at his area
and to stay over at his place.

so i waited for him.
went up his place.
after bathing, his parents came back.
that was when the incident started.
i swear i din know that his step-mom was unhappy
with the fact that i'm using their 'facilities'
i'm refering to bathing and using dear's com.
if i had knew it i wouldn't had used. AT ALL.

she started grumbling and nagging.
then dear lost his cool. he started yelling back.
and they started the fight.
dear's father tried to stop. but then his step-mom refused to stop.
and dear threw his half-eaten rice on the flow (he literally flung the chair)
of coz i was shocked. and speechless.
i was told to go home. ok i changed and was about to leave
and things got worse.
dear refused to clean up the messed he made and his parents were still scolding him.
and dear sent me out of the house. and i realised i left my watch in his room.
he went back to retreive it together with all his savings (coins)
and things got worse. i din really know wat happened
coz i was outside his house, at the corridor.
dear starting throwing things.
he flunged 2 glass materials. wat, i do not know.
he came out. and suddenly got very mad and went back in again.
this time round, he took the big vase. i mean BIG.
and smashed it. i tried to stop him but of coz i failed to.
i was really scared stiff.
his sis was crying for him to stop.
his dad called the police coz he almost flung the smashed glass pieces at his step-mom.
scared stiff.
i really was.
we left soon. his hand was bleeding due to the glass pieces.
i went to 7-11 and bought some medication for him.
i was trembling when i was making payment.
i could see my hand shaking. it was horrible.
i felt real bad. i brought dear back home.
and i suppose he'll be staying at my place.
but he's not around now.
he went back to get his stuff.
i duno if he's able to come back. i'm worried for him.

and guess wat, my internship's starting this wed.
i'm in an events company.
sighz. i'm working 7 days a week from today onwards.
wish my luck.

Friday, September 09, 2005

finally, the exams are over.
and my really short term holiday shall begin
from the very min i finished my last paper at 1545.
the paper was supposed to end at 1630.
as usual, i like to finish it fast and *PooF*

back at home.
received a call from sch jus now.
got a news regarding my attachment.
guess wat, i'm going back sch on mon
for a briefing? din really catch wat the woman was saying.
all i know is that... i'll be starting my SIP earlier.
coz the company wans me to start earlier.
sighz.
there goes my 2 wks of working at takopachi.
that means, i can't work there wif dear anymore.
no more helping him after work wif cleaning.
only if he works on sunday.
sighz.
i wonder will my SIP end early as well?
coz i start early!
it's only fair. else they better pay me!

i miss dear a lot.
haven seen him for not say v long.
jus a few days.
can't blame it.
coz we work at the same place.
always work together. but i had 5 days off due to exams.
tml, i'm takin his shift coz aunty's giving him off for workin 5 days straight.
sighz. and sunday, he's takin the early shift while for me,
it's as usual.
but he's staying to do cleaning.
Sighz.
duno y jus feel like sighing.

good thing tat my exams are over.
i can really REST.
heave a sigh of RELIEF.
din catch enough slp for the whole of last week.
it's time for RESTORATION.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

feel so tired.
been working for the past 2 days.
my study week had gone into the drain.
din really study much.
i guess i really got to whip my ass later.
study SIT first then mug MA.
else monday i shall hav a white flag.
NOooooooooooooooo!
i can't afford to fail MA.
it's not really that difficult really rite?
not like BA 1 and 2 with all the shitty ledger accounts.
heehee...

went 'fishing' the other day with dear and his fren,
J.K and his gf.
went to lower pierce reservior.
Lots of monkeys!
tryin to catch those mini lobsters for rearing.
so hard to catch.
fished for whole noon.
only got one catch.
loads of wildlife insects there.
BEESSSSS real BEES. BIG ones.

look at the dejected face of the fisher with his gf in another world....

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a pic of dear taken by me...
he calls it a L.J(bad word) face...

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last but not least, the one and only catch of the day...

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oh ya, takopachi has officially increased price from 2 bucks to $2.20.
with effect from 1st sept.
and damn the lady who gave me $50.50.
it's irritating. dun giv ppl trouble!
it's alrdy hard to count $$$
and i still need to serve fast!
Grrrr...

i better stop. and start studying.